||October 21st, 2017 Saturday|| It's time to talk about Misa. So, my brother got a girlfriend in his second go around in ninth grade. She was a year younger than him and they met in one of his repeat courses. He hid the relationship for a few months, because my parents didn't want us to date anyone ever because fuck if I know. Anyway, he brings Misa over one day. My parents, as soon as she leaves, instantly put her down once she's out of the house and require them to be in the living room while both parents watch them. My parents were both upset she's there. She's a gold digger (they decided this instantly, long before knowing she was poor, which they would berate her for constantly once they knew), too "thin", not "pretty enough" for their little boy, ugly in fact, stupid (before they knew what her grades were like), dresses "dumb" and like a "whore", and she's definitely a "whore". Their first proof of her being a "gold digger" was when she came over for the second time and she ate McDonald's with us instead of going home when my dad suddenly decided when he'd lost his house and barely had money for a moving van that he should waste the rest of the money on fast food. They ranted at length about her to me all the time. I didn't see what the big deal was when I met her. She wasn't "ugly" like they said. She didn't seem stupid. She reminded me of Anna, which actually worried me what her home life might be like. She looked like some scene kid who probably wasn't from the best of families. Nothing out of the ordinary for that area or age range there. My parents switch to a new house about a month later. This is where things start getting weirder. Turns out Misa does have some school problems and she's over all the time. I tutor them from time to time during this time frame, since she's always with my brother after school. I think she's getting a little clingy with how often she's with him, but don't think too much of it. Misa asks for my phone number around then since I don't have any social media accounts and she wants to talk about cosplay and anime (both of which I was into at the time). Misa's a pretty social person, and she did this with a lot of people. My brother was furious about this. He started accusing her of cheating on him with me. I remember her sending me one string of texts that said something along the lines of "he's so paranoid I bet he's going to demand to see my texts to prove I'm not cheating". Apparently he actually did do that very thing right after she sent that text and he said to her that she was probably "texting things about him behind his back" and she needed to prove to him she wasn't cheating. What were we talking about before that point? Naruto. Or rather, Sasuke. We were talking about Sasuke in Shippuden. When she would talk about wanting to cosplay as characters, he would tell her who she could and could not cosplay as. She needed to cosplay as characters he wanted to see her dressed up as, and she needed to make his costume, and they needed to stay together and everything needed to be his way. At some point during one of his little rants about this, he even included me in this mix deciding who I was allowed to cosplay as! What. Yeah, no. At some point, my brother decided they were going to have sex and had my mom buy him condoms. My dad found out when my mom told him when they got back. He stopped them and they had a "family talk" about how they were forbidden from having sex because if they have sex, there WILL be a baby and he's NOT paying for their baby because he KNOWS neither of them will EVER get a job and are both planning on mooching off all of his masses of wealth (remember, they just lost their house, they were actually in debt and my dad's salary hadn't increased in years). They were forbidden from being in his room alone with the door closed. Not that that stopped anything, because once my dad was not around, no one gave a shit about any of that. Only my dad was obsessed with this. My mom instead cried about how this all made Misa a big whore, corrupting her innocent little angel. Her little boy was supposed to remain a virgin and live with her forever! (This isn't far off from things she's told me on more than one occasion.) Fast-forward and Misa breaks up with him. Now we get into the really batshit stuff. So, I get all of this in bits and pieces from a bunch of people. My brother leaves the house and starts walking to Misa's house. Apparently she cheated on him with some guy and broke up with my brother to be with him. They were both at her house that day. Somehow he knew this. So he's going there to beat the shit out of this guy. He tells her when he's done kicking this guy's ass that she'll have to be his girlfriend again. It's not her choice. It's a matter of whether or not he can beat up some guy. My dad picks him up about half way, tells him a bunch of shit about how women are basically not humans and not worth having emotions on, they're just there to be fucked and tossed aside and he's weak for having emotions, but if he really wants to beat the shit out of that guy, he'll drive him there. Brother still wants to fight. He gets up there and Misa and boyfriend are there. Along with Misa's mom. She stands in between them telling my brother if he sets foot on the property, she's going to call the cops and kick his ass herself. Brother chickens out and cries in the car. He doesn't go to school for a week. Then he drops out of public school, claiming everyone in the entire county will now know he is girlfriend-less and didn't beat up that guy, and everyone will make fun of him forever, so he can never return to public school ever again. My mom caters to this and pulls him out, signing him up for online classes. Which he does for about a month, in only one subject (my parents don't check his work for months), and then just plays WoW until my mom caught him and demanded to see his school work. They'd been paying a lot of money for this every month, and he didn't do shit. He then says he doesn't care about it and school is stupid, so he's never doing it again. He received no punishment for this and my parents continued to let him play WoW as long as he wanted. They blamed Misa for all of this. I'll get to Misa's side of the story in a sec. She was one of the people telling me about all that was going on, and her version is likely the most truthful. Some other stuff. A frequent claim of my parents was that Misa was planning on trying to get my brother to marry her and the sex was just to create a baby to entrap him. (A baby...created by use of condoms! That makes sense!) Their proof was she was poor and her mom basically had her living in a room barely bigger than a closet and she once commented that my dad's house was bigger than her tiny house. That meant she wanted to move in. They also claim when she broke up with him, she was really vicious, cruel and called my brother all kinds of mean and nasty things, completely shattered his self-esteem, blah blah. All of his issues stem from her. Except this didn't match at all with what I saw, nor did it match Misa's story. Or even the event after the day my brother acted like a lunatic. She actually visited him the next day and apologized for hurting him because she cheating, but that he needed to let go. She never wanted a serious relationship to begin with and she wasn't interested in him anymore. So, let's get to Misa's story. I get all this through a string of texts over a few days as this is all going on. Misa tells me she actually tried to break up with my brother several times, the first time after a month, and repeatedly over the summer, and several other times. He always came crying to her, on the phone, in texts, in person about how he needed her and she had to be with him. She'd cave and "give it another go". She was initially drawn in by his "innocence" and how he had so many "firsts" to go through and he liked anime, but then he became controlling instead of "naive" and "innocent". He wouldn't let her see her friends. That's why she was always with him every afternoon. She was not allowed to be around male friends at all. Because she would cheat on him. He didn't want her around female friends either after a while when he decided she was secretly bisexual. No amount of her saying she was straight changed his mind. To him, she was bi and definitely going to fuck any of her friends if she was left alone with them. If she was to hang out with friends, he required her to let him supervise their interactions. But he refused to get to know any of her friends and wanted nothing to do with them, so she was not allowed to be around any of them. He flipped out any time she tried to make casual friends online or through texting (she pretty much gave her phone number and facebook account to anyone who shared any interests with her for casual chatting and to talk about upcoming events in the area related, she loved going to cons and big events in groups). So he took an extremely social girl and forced her into almost exclusively interacting with him alone, all while accusing her of being a cheater and a "whore" if she dared to want to interact with anyone alone. All her friends were "dumb", so she couldn't hang out in a group either. If she went to an event, he needed to be there with her to supervise her or she'll totally cheat on him. He'd even get jealous if she made a comment about thinking anime guys were hot. Yes, he'd get jealous if she said she thought some anime bishounen was cute. If she complimented a girl's outfit or appearance in anyway, that was proof she wanted to sleep with girls. He read through her texts all the time. He required her to hand over her phone whenever he wanted. One incident my parents always use as proof she was evil if she picked out a bunch of outfits for him at Hot Topic once and that was proof she was "changing" him and taking away their little boy. They never tell the part about how it was my brother's idea because he said she was a fashion expert so she'd make his clothes not look stupid like the dumb shit my parents always picked out for him from the kid section. He still wears just these clothes, in part hoping it'll lure her back even though she was never hugely into that stuff and my brother picked that store. IIRC, her primary shopping place was actually Rue 21, Hot Topic just being for some outfits and accessories. She actually went through several styles over the course of them dating, and many hairstyles. My brother decided "this is me now" and has not changed his look one bit from his teenage self. This is her fault, somehow. As for the cheating, she had befriended this guy a few months before the end of her and my brother's relationship. She cheated because she was afraid of what he might do if she tried leaving again. But after a while with that guy, she finally felt confident enough with him there to get away from my brother. He was what helped her leave. My mom still talks shit about this girl. My mom stalks her facebook. Apparently, she had a baby recently with her current boyfriend. My mom used this as more proof she was always trying to entrap a man with a baby like my dad made up in his paranoia. She lives with this longtime boyfriend, has a a job of her own, they pay rent together, and she's about twenty-three as of me writing this. For this area, managing to not get pregnant before 19 is a massive accomplishment. Hell, tons of girls around here drop out between 15-17 from being pregnant. While she did fail a grade, she did complete high school, which is more than my brother can say. She did model for a while like she wanted to when she was in high school. Now, she works as a waitress and cosplays in her free time. My mom accused her of mooching off her boyfriend because how can she afford to cosplay?! Hmm...probably because she is very skilled with a sewing machine and was before she started dating my brother? Honestly, she's about where most people are around here--dead end job that pays the bills with a baby and just enough for a little something extra. She criticised her for not being married when most of her old housewife "friends" she's "reconnected", all their kids are largely unmarried and all of them quit school either from not wanting to bother from failing so many grades or from being pregnant. But they're "good" people, it's just if other people do any of the things they do, then they're bad. But not her little circle. They're perfect. They have reasons. They have real struggles. They're real good people. Misa's evil because she had a baby with her long-term boyfriend at twenty-three and both of them work at the same jobs the majority of the people around her work at. My brother's bad grades in high school? Misa's fault. (Even though he's failed most of everything since kindergarten and met her in a class he was REPEATING) My brother dropping out? Misa's fault. My brother quitting online school? Misa. My brother only wearing Hot Topic-esque stuff and refusing to wear shorts or pants other than black pants? Misa-Misa. His refusal to get a GED, a job, or any kind of training or schooling? Definitely Misa. Won't go outside most of the time? Won't talk to strangers? Can't even order his own food at a restaurant or check out at a cash register because STRANGERS are there? Yep, Misa instilled all those issues in him despite him having issues with that prior to meeting her. Also, she's a whore because he expected her to have sex with him. It's her fault. She corrupted him by having boobies. Or something. He had NO part in that. My mom will cry to anyone she can about her baby boy isn't a virgin. Her baby boy who's nearly twenty-four years old. It's disgusting. And she still rants on about this girl. This girl my brother dated like eight years ago. She is forever evil. My mom claims she tried to get pregnant with every boyfriend she's ever had after my brother. What is her proof of this? Her proof is she had boyfriends, so obviously. Nevermind she was trying to work as a model for a while. IIRC, I think she's had about 3 or 4 serious boyfriends since my brother. Somehow, it's only this most recent one who she had a baby with. Hmm. And why weren't the other "attempts" successful? Because that's nonsense. I'll never forget the last set of texts Misa sent me at the end of that clusterfuck. About how my parents are crazy. How they don't care about my brother. How she saw I was the only one who cared about anything. How my brother said he saw me as his parent, not his older sibling. How I raised him, and my parents are worthless. That was the first time anyone ever directly told me my parents behavior wasn't normal. I knew, but everyone else always praised them or excused them. Misa didn't. That last bit, about raising my brother, was the saddest, most infuriating compliment I've ever been given. I don't know exactly what's wrong with my brother. I suspect he has a major disorder, from being in that environment with them. I have some likely guesses. I feel sorry for Misa. She already had to deal with a largely neglectful mother (though at least her mom protected her kid) and being poor with a mom who didn't know how to handle money at all, and she already struggled in school. But when she was with my brother, her grades dropped like they never had before. He constantly told her she was stupid while he failed more classes than she did. In a way, it felt like he wanted her to fail so he wouldn't be alone in failing. After this, my brother went through a weird phase where he decided women were evil and he wanted to buy an Asian virgin bride (specifically Japanese) because "all Asians are submissive, so she won't disobey American me" and planned on making her a housewife because if women get money they'll have too much "power". She needed to be a virgin because girls who's had more than one partner are always corrupt and don't know how to listen to men. My dad told him his goals were pointless because he already tried catching that submissive foreign wife in my mom and found out his stereotypes didn't line up and she was "corrupted" from being in America where American women can do whatever they wanted. Then my brother stopped talking about women and marriage altogether and spent his time watching a lot of ecchi and hentai. It was honestly really disturbing, to listen to my brother say such stupid, absurd things and to hear my dad going on about how my mom was a "failure" for actually being human and not a doormat 24/7. Of course, he did somewhat succeed there. My mom will become a doormat for him if he gets angry enough. I don't know if my brother could have a normal relationship. He clearly needs a ton of therapy, and to get away from my dad. You don't have a healthy relationship by treating the other person as a lesser being than you. Relationships are two-way, not a master-slave contract. The truth of the matter is, Misa was an ordinary poor person with the usual obstacles most teens in this area deal with, until my brother and my parents came into the picture. But my parents will do everything they can to convince you of the opposite. My brother won't even mention she ever existed despite still being friends with her on facebook and her being one of the few people he talks to. When people leave his life, they're "gone".