||October 21st, 2017 Saturday|| I've been detailing a lot about my past, but I've been spending more time keeping up with the timeline for the issues with my wife's family. I wanted to get into some more detail about some of their weirdness. The Disney Incident: For our fifth anniversary of dating, we took a trip to Disney World on a shoestring budget (we're in driving distance, went in offseason, stayed at cheap hotel, etc). My dad flipped out about it. We just ignored his dumbass. We kept the fact that we were going on the trip from her grandparents because they would think of a million reasons why she shouldn't go and how everything would go wrong (much like my dad), and neither of us were interested in putting up with that bullshit. So we just left and had a nice trip at WDW for a weekend in fall. When we got back, we did end up buying everyone small gifts and she sent her family emails about coming back from the trip and that she had photos she could send them if they wanted copies. Her mom responded, but silence from her grandparents. No reply to the email, nothing. Later, we find out from her mom that they're fuming that she went to Florida. Florida, specifically. See, her dad lives down in Florida, but as she's never really interacted with him her entire life largely due to their influence in the first place, he was definitely never on the list of stops on the way there and back. But they came up with this story that we never really went to WDW. We just used that as a cover to go to Florida, to see her dad and give him hundreds of dollars. Hundreds of dollars. We were offering to send them our vacation photos and give them gifts with the official parks logo on them, and they somehow got out of that that the only reason we were actually in Florida was to give her father, who she has not seen in person in like two decades hundreds of dollars. And they were giving her the silent treatment over it and yelling at her mom about this "happening". Curious why I would be involved in this dad-money-scheme, but I'm sure they had some weird ass reason why I would be there for that. It's not like they could even claim we just got some random photos of WDW online. We were IN the photos. Balogna & Cheese: Think I've mentioned these before. When her grandmother was pregnant at sixteen, one day grandfather got all pissy for some reason and demanded she go to the store and buy him cheese RIGHT THEN. She was really far into the pregnancy at that point and he was screaming at her to go do this immediately. Her mother (great-grandmother) throws a rag or a dishcloth or something at his face and tells him to go get it himself, then tells her she doesn't need him, they'd take care of the baby without him. This story is important because 1) he was clearly controlling and abusive from the start of this family 2) this mirrors the balogna incident too eerily. Fast-forward to when my wife's just learning to drive. It's a weekend and she's still sleeping by the time her grandfather got up. He's furious about it. So to punish her for "sleeping in" on a Saturday as a now adult, he rudely wakes her up and demands she go to the store with him to buy balogna or he will throw her out of the house. He refuses to let her put her contacts in, has her drive while she is still completely new to driving, and has her younger brother ride in the back of the car because 1) he HAS to go with her to get the balogna 2) he's supposed to be watching her brother, so he also has to come even though he would have been old enough to be left alone for a little while and they would have been back in well under an hour, if thirty minutes. So, let's recap: -Trying to push someone with little driving experience to drive while in a state that would make it more difficult for them to drive -Because he's angry over something trivial -He uses a single, trivial item of food as the reason they have to go and THEY must drive HIM there even though he's perfectly capable of going himself and has his own car, but he MUST accompany them on this trip for trivial item -A minor is involved (unborn baby, younger brother), thus by extension he is putting a minor at risk to terrorize someone else My wife noted what's even weirder is he doesn't even like balogna. He demanded she go with him and drive him despite him having his own vehicle to get a food item he doesn't even like or she'd be thrown out of the house solely because she didn't get up at the same time as him on a weekend. He gets up super early every day and gets upset at other people for not being up when he's up. I don't know what set off the incident with the grandmother, but it's like the exact same shit. It's bizarre. Uncle: Son's on drugs, so best way to cure it? Threaten to kill him with your gun and claim you're gonna do a murder-suicide with him because he's on drugs and it's all his fault. Yeah, that sounds normal. Mother: Her mother once mentioned that she was pretty sure her own parents had her turn over custody of her first child/my wife shortly after her mom's divorce solely so they could use her own kid as leverage against her and they'd done it then because she was in a more vulnerable position. I've mentioned the switch her grandfather had put in their room to shut off the phones at night so her mom couldn't talk on the phone, and how that's part of his overarching control of outside communication (shutting off phones, blocking friends numbers without having even met them in person, shutting off the internet, reading mail for my wife AND making sure she knew they were reading through all her mail, etc). There was also them entrapping her with the promise of her inheritance that they revealed they already spent once she actually got there to bring her back from living on the other side of the country in California. So here, we see that the behavior has been through more than one generation--his wife, kids, and grandkids, and my wife's grandfather has some specific patterns to how he operates. But her mother is still not a stable person and typically is surrounded by shady, unsavory people. Despite taking custody from her and constantly berating her for not being a decent person, my wife's grandparents would then leave my wife with her mom all the time. If you really thought someone was so incompetent you had them hand over custody of their own child to you, why would you turn around and leave the kid in that person's care whenever you didn't want to deal with them? They knew what her "friends" and "boyfriends" (of the month) were like. They also kept her in daycare a lot, well past the age one would typically leave someone in daycare. And that's another thing. So, they kicked my wife out of the house twice when she was in high school, and she had to live with her mother during that time. Didn't want to deal with her. Her grandmother was also having a strange paranoia then that my wife and the grandfather were secretly dating each other or some nonsense and thus conspiring against her. WTF. The Scissors Incident: So sometime in high school, my wife/then friend shows up at my house having essentially hitched a ride from her house further in the neighborhood to mine, crying, and one of her legs bleeding. I get a jumbled mess of a story about her grandmother being drunk and her running out of the house. Cue grandmother calling drunk. Cue them demanding she come home immediately. I refuse to let her leave. I make it clear if they come up to the house, I'll be calling the police. She stays the night because I am not letting her go home that night with her grandmother still acting like a lunatic on the phone. She does go home the next day, but I really didn't want her to go back at all. She tells me everything's fine. It's not. The Tax Fiasco: She chose to do her taxes on her own one year instead of having her grandmother do them again. Her grandmother still does her mother's taxes. Neither her nor her mother have remotely complex taxes to do. Because she chose to do it on her own, grandparents went on a rampage of phone calls and harassing visists to her workplace telling her how she's going to fuck up everything and doesn't know at all how to do taxes (thus her grandmother MUST do them for her...forever?), and how she's going to owe so much money, blah, blah. A lot of this while she's at work. She doesn't end up owing any money, what a shock. Taxes, she found out, were pretty easily for her to do. The Car Title: Her grandparents "gifted" her a car at eighteen as a graduation present. That was in their name and she could only drive it wherever they allowed her to take it. They did not hand over the title until she was in her mid-twenties. When she got the title, her grandfather then expected her to hand it right back to him to put in his safe for safe-keeping...from herself. You see, he decided she was too dumb to have the title and she would do something stupid with it like sell the title. Because her mom did that with a car once, which means if she was left with the title she would do the same exact thing. Not that it really matters if she would or not, since it would legally be hers to do with whatever she wanted anyway, but why exactly would she do this? They failed to mention this car was the one they spent all her mother's inheritance on as a lure to get her to come back. They claimed they bought her a car and that she had money to get from them, and they bought her a ticket to come down and get the money. Turned out it was a one-way ticket and there was no extra money. And the car was bought with her inheritance from another relative. It wasn't something they paid for out of pocket. She sold that car. I would too. They cost her the place she was living in before and her then job over that bullshit. But because this happened, her grandfather needed to have the title. I told her not to give him the title, because we'd never see it again if we did. Thank god she didn't give it to him. Money: Covered in other posts in detail. Destruction: So, when my wife dropped out of college after attending because they demanded that she do so (and was largely paid for by scholarship money), he did the following: -Talk about disowning her -Talk about throwing her out -Yell about how much of their money she wasted -Took away her access to the phone, internet, and car while also expecting her to get a job immediately or she would be thrown out -To get to job interviews, they required her mother to drive her there because she wasn't allowed to have the car back until she had a job--nope, not even to drive to an interview because clearly if she was left alone she'd lie and go somewhere else! They didn't care if this also inconvenienced her mother. -Got a shirt related to her school and ripped it up in front of her, then poured something on it (orange juice?) and threw it out in the backyard -Got another shirt related to her from when she was a little kid and also destroyed that one Now again, they both forced her to be there and were not footing most of the bills. (IIRC, they paid for books. The rest was basically covered by Hope.) She only attended for about a year. It wasn't like she dropped out in her senior year or something. And she never wanted to be there in the first place. She often drove out to campus because he'd flip out if she skipped class at all. She still wouldn't go to class, but she could pretend if she went. This was a long ass drive too. But while we're on the subject of destruction, some of his other behaviors. If he got upset at the dinner table, he would get up and throw his food away. There was him trying to destroy her grandmother's cigarette case because she failed to quit smoking. (Another thrown object at that!) There was also a time he got pissed at my wife when she lived with them and he intentionally busted open an entire bag of chips all over her bedroom floor solely because he was mad at her. Which she then had to clean up. This is like toddler in the midst of a tantrum behavior. Favors: They were good at doing favors, then expecting you to randomly pay them back for them whenever they wanted. Debts were never settled. They did this thing for you once? That will be used forever as a reason you should drop everything to do something for them. This commonly happened to her mother. Often, they would demand she go and run errands for them, even if they knew she was at work. Her mother was expected to leave work to run errands for them. This would happen whether her mother was staying with them or living on her own. Because hey once they did her a favor. So she should risk losing her job to go pick up some groceries for them. It's important. (But not important enough hey'll leave work for it.) Badmouthing: It was common for them to badmouth her mother infront of my wife. While she's definitely got a shit ton of issues, this hardly seems appropriate to rant about to a small child. Especiall when you're then planning on leaving said child in this "bad" adult's care for extended periods of time. Exactly what message is that telling the kid? Hey, I'm going to go leave you with this adult I've told you is completely unstable! That's how little I give a shit about you. Other Oddities: On the subject of college. While she was still working on getting her license, her grandfather drove her to college. He'd then come back for lunch and they'd eat lunch together. And then he'd come back again and pick her up at the end of the day. Why is this weird? This college was so far from where they lived that if she lived just a little bit further, she would have been required to live in the dorms or have her own place. This was a long drive. Her classes didn't start super early either. Her was doing this lunch thing constantly. So was he just hanging around there all day, or did he drive back only to stay home for a little while and immediately drive back again? WTH? It's just...what. It's weird in general. Why did he need to eat lunch all the time with his college aged grandkid? Why not his buddies or his wife? I suppose some of the grandmother's paranoia about him possibly doing some incestuous cheating isn't too far out there. WTF. Though to be fair, all her relatives were doing a lot of covert incest anyway, just none of the "regular" kind. This is what you like now: Her grandmother would find out she liked something at the moment. Then that would be on everything she bought her, constantly. To ridiculous levels. May be well meaning there, but still odd. Mexican Drug Lord Cult Leader Pimp: So at some point, because my mom is Hispanic, they decided my whole family was even though my dad's not. But anyway, to fuel their xenophobic, racist paranoia, her grandfather came up with this ridiculous grand conspiracy about why my wife is really living with me. When I was in high school, they didn't like me and my wife has mentioned they thought all my family ever did was eat tacos and listen to exclusively Mexican music. (I'm not Mexican! I'm Pananamian! FFS.) Since my wife started staying around me and eventually moved in with me, they decided this had something to do with me being "Mexican". Since they saw my dad literally like once ever, they decided he had used me to pull her away from them. Because he's actually a Mexican drug dealer. (HAHAHA) But no, he's not only a drug dealer, he runs a drug CULT. People who literally worship drugs. He is the cult leader. Yes. And this cult not only gets people addicted to drugs, but also draws in women to use them as prostitutes. You see, apparently my dad is also a pimp. And he's totally using my wife as a prostitute to get money to full his drug operations. (Wouldn't selling the drugs fuel that? Oh wait, we sell AND use all of it. Right, right.) This was something he was seriously concerned with and a reason he decided she needed to get away from me. Because I was just using her and it was all a big cover up for some Mexican drug cult/prostitution ring. This guy really has quite the imagination. This man has literally never spoken to my father before. Also, I get an extra laugh out of the idea I would be my dad's lackey at this point in time. Ffffff. I'll have to ask my wife about some other stuff before posting it. There's some more messed up stuff in her past, but I don't know if she'd want that stuff up here.