||January 22nd, 2017 Sunday|| I remembered some more things, and a few things I meant to mention on my last entry but forgot to include. I'm not sure how I'd classify these things, but they certainly aren't healthy behaviors at the very least. -My mom didn't eat breakfast. She decided this meant that my brother and I didn't need to eat breakfast either. She would then tell us it's because eating breakfast makes us sick. I used to tell people that when they asked why I didn't eat breakfast, but I remember as a young kid, I used to eat breakfast just fine. This started happening primarily after we moved. So from age 9-18, I pretty much never ate breakfast. -She would make me food she knew would make me sick or that I really couldn't stand. I hated bologna, but that was the most common thing she put on my sandwiches for lunch when she bothered to make me lunch for school as a kid. I would ask her to give me pretty much any other type of sandwich. She still kept giving me bologna. The weird thing is no one in the house actually liked bologna, but she would keep buying tons of it and encourage me and my brother to primarily eat bologna. Sometimes without bread to go with it. She also kept trying to make me eat green beans. When I eat green beans, it makes me puke. Every time. She would constantly fix them and then yell at me if I threw up because I was clearly trying to cause a scene. She once told me I couldn't do my homework until I finished all of my dinner and intentionally made sure she fixed green beans that night. I ended up not doing my homework because I knew I'd get in more trouble for throwing up than not doing my homework. Milk started making me sick in early elementary school and how easily I got sick from milk escalated from there. When I would tell her that, she would buy lots of dairy products to eat. She never bought me yogurts for lunch until after I mentioned milk making me sick and she would encourage me to drink plain milk. Unless I drank the last bit of milk, in which case I would be yelled at for using up all the food and requiring her to go shopping. -There was a kid who I'll call Harry because let's just say his glasses were worse off than Harry Potter's in the first book/movie. One lens, tape on them at some point. Teachers yelled at him for trying to "get attention" with his glasses. He was very poor and his mother never gave him money or food to bring to lunch. She was in the range that he qualified for free/discount food, but she was too lazy to fill out the paperwork. She didn't fill it out until he was in 8th grade. A lot of kids made fun of him for being so poor and not having food and his broken glasses. I would give him parts of my lunch in 7th and 8th grade. My mom got upset that I gave him some of my lunch. -My mom would leave my brother and me in the car with no AC on in Georgia Summer heat with the car doors unlocked as small children in a high-crime area all the time because she didn't want to watch us while she went wherever. We would get in trouble if she caught us rolling the windows down. After we moved to a less crime-heavy area, she started locking the doors, but usually still left the AC off. Occasionally, she might leave it on. Once a weird doomsday preacher came up to the car and kept banging on the window for me to open it. I rolled it down and he gave me a pamphlet about the end of times and expected me to give him money. I gave him some coins I found in the car so he'd leave. When I told my mom about the weirdo, she told me I did the right thing and I should always be nice to preachers. What. -She would often leave me and my brother in random places in stores. She would wander off, not telling us where she was going and expected us to stay in the same spot until she came back. She would be gone for a long time and we'd end up looking for her because we were worried about being left behind. She would then yell at us for either not staying in place or for not following her despite her telling us to stay in place. -My parents got angry at me when I wanted to lock my bedroom and bathroom door once I hit puberty. They also wanted me to change my clothes with my bedroom door open. I refused. Sometimes, they would unlock my door from the outside and open it just to point out they could. This would then cause me to move furniture in front of the door for a while so they couldn't open it. My brother had to do the same thing when he hit that age range. -My parents walked around naked a lot, even when my brother and I had friends over. They never informed those kids parents that they did this, and I'm pretty sure if they had, those friends wouldn't have been allowed over. -I was forbidden from working as a teenager so I could concentrate on studying for class because I needed to get scholarships to go to college because they refused to save up money for me because I'm not worth saving up money for. Ugh. But they also told me every time I asked for anything, that I didn't deserve anything and if I wanted things, I should get a job. I tried filling out a Wendy's application once and got yelled at for it because I was forbidden from working. /headdesk -I was made to tutor my brother and sometimes just flat out do his homework assignments for him because I'm "smart" and they couldn't understand his assignments. When his grades improved, they would yelled at me and separate us from interacting for a while because I was trying to "take their place" as parent and I needed to be put back in my place as the subservient child. -I was made once on a vacation to calculate up at exactly what time my dad would need to refill up his tank and what the expected cost would be all along the trip and he yelled at me if I was off on either number even by a little and call me stupid because I should have easily been able to get that correct. I was not provided with a calculator or paper to do this math. I was expected to do it in my head based off how he had instructed me to calculate it up that day. I was 7 years old. -My parents have always gotten mad at me if I asked if we could buy souvenirs. My grandparents and great-grandmother sometimes gave me money for vacation trips so that I could and my parents would try to control whether or not I could use it. I presume so they could take the money from me later, as my mom frequently stole money given to me by other relatives. One year, my dad decided what I'd spend that money on, something he wanted, and then said I was too irresponsible to have it and kept it in his room for himself. -My parents used to do that spank+pinch my ass thing on my brother and me's birthdays. My brother got my parents to stop somewhere in his teen years after a lot of protesting, which they guilt-tripped him over. My dad continued to surprise grab me and then do this past 18 if I saw him on a birthday. I've gotten him to stop at this point, but even now he still tries to convince me I should let him do it and also guilt-trips me for not letting him do it anymore. -At some point as a teenager, my parents had me do their budget for a month to prove to me that they definitely could never afford any of the things I needed because of bills and whatnot. Not only did I manage their budget better than they did, and do their grocery shopping more efficiently, there was tons of money left over on both paychecks, especially the non-mortgage one. They got mad about this and yelled at me for not understanding their "needs" and went out a bought a bunch of junk food, fast food, and cigarettes to quickly blow the remaining money. These were "needs" I had selfishly left out. I actually didn't leave out the cigarettes. I just didn't put aside for the crazy amount they bought. 8 cartons of cigarettes is what they claimed they needed per month, minimum. That's 1600 cigarettes, or 800 for each, though my dad smoked more of them than she did, so more like 1000 for him and 600 for her. They would buy packs here and there once their cartons ran out too. Simply to spend more of the money, they bought even more than that. My mom also decided we needed like what had to be six or seven of the biggest size box sodas come in despite me still having set money side for a couple of 12-packs. They also bought an absurd amount of coffee. They both told me these were necessities. I guess, unlike that 50 cent toothbrush I was stuck with for two years that one time. I once calculated up for my parents how much they wasted on cigarettes, coffee, and soda, and it added up to actually be quite a large chunk of money. They claimed since they couldn't quit smoking there was no point in them even trying to cut down a little even though this would save some money that they claimed they never had enough of and also smoking totally hasn't impacted their health so it's not a big deal. They also claimed they couldn't function without a steady supply of sugar and caffeine, likened it to an addiction, and thus if it's an addiction, you can't stop them from having it constantly and in as large of a quantity as they want. That would be wrong. My dad even claimed him drink caffeine+sugar constantly made him healthier. (Neither of my parents are remotely healthy.) -They used to smoke with the windows up while we were in the car. Me and my brother both have asthma. My parents claim this never happened, and when we've argued back their full of it, they claim it didn't impact our health at all and we're just babies. -My mom frequently would refused to get my inhaler refilled. Same with my brother. -The downstairs pantry was frequently locked so no one would eat up all of their precious food. -The upstairs pantry was frequently completely empty. -My dad had a lock put on his computer to ensure no one used it when he wasn't home. At that point, my mom was briefly working for a while and my dad obviously was too. I'd have to wait until evening before I could do any homework that required a computer and they'd get mad if I took too long because my dad wanted to play on it or my mom wanted to get tarot readings online or whatever. -My mom hated doing dishes. She would yell at us for using a dish (and for eating, of course) and that we should have used a paper plate. If we used a paper plate, she would also potentially yell at us for using up all the paper plates. She would tell us to wash the plates we used and put it in the dishwasher. The joke was she refused to unload the dishwasher on the rare occasion she actually turned it on. So to put anything in, sometimes you'd have to unload the whole thing first, and she always only turned it on once the thing was completely overfilled. My mom almost never actually put up the dishes herself. She just waited for someone to dirty a dish so she could have them do it. And yes, she never washed off her own dishes. She would just leave them in the sink until it piled up. She would only wash dishes to get a pot she needed to cook dinner with. My father never washed off his dishes either. When the sink would fill up, she would claim it was my brother and me's fault for being lazy children who never wash off their dishes when most of the dishes in there would be pots and pans she used for dinners and my parents dishes. -My mom once told me she always fed me the best of foods, unlike moms these days. I told her she did not and she then tried to claim junk food was healthy food. (She didn't even mention that half the time she didn't feed me at all!) When I called bullshit on that, she then blamed me for not eating healthy, saying I was a picky child who only ate those specific things she fed me. I hated most of the things she fed and would ask for healthier foods. She simply refused to buy them. She would rather buy me a bulk bag of chips in a flavor no one in the house liked to put in my school lunch than the oranges I actually requested. And regardless, it's a parent's responsibility to see that their kids eat healthy. -My dad would try to force his old 80s music on us and tell us our music was bad by virtue of it existing after he was a teenager. We needed to know everything about every musician or group he liked as a teenager and be able to recognize every single song of theirs by the first few notes of the song and know the lyrics. He would laugh at us for being losers if we didn't know a song and praise whatever child could remember as being the "good" child who actually knew about "real" music. He would never bother learning anything about the music we liked. My brother eventually tried liking nothing but 80s rock to please him. My brother's musical tastes have been extremely narrow since then. My dad also had what had to have been at least 1000 CDs and a ton of cassettes too. He never once bought me a CD and I was only ever bought maybe 5 CDs in my childhood, gifts from other people. He said he didn't need to. New music was crap, so I don't deserve new CDs. I spent a lot of time downloading song and burning them to CDs instead. He approved of this because then he didn't have to buy new stuff or spend money, until I needed more CDs so I could burn more song on them. Then I needed to stop doing it so much because buying a pack of blank CDs is ~so much money~. Oddly, my dad actually very rarely ever listened to any of his own CDs. My brother also got to the point he recognized 80s songs better than my dad did. Turns out he didn't know those songs so well himself. -My dad's thoughts on discussions. "The winner is the person who talks the loudest. If no one else can talk over you, they can't argue with you. That means you're right." Yes, an adult actually said that.